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Invitations started becoming popular in the 1700's for the "High Society" of England and France. Invitations in the 1700's were much the same as they are today, with the exception of the person's name being printed on the invitations themselves. Although printing presses were invented 500 years earlier, they were never used for invitations until the early 1900's. Invitations were done by Calligraphers back in the day. They had to print the entire process using an ink well and feather. Once the invitation was written, it had to be hand delivered by servants on horseback in all types of weather. The envelopes would get dirty and wet which caused the ink to run. Also, their was no Post Office nor street addresses, so the person sending the invitation would have to write directions all over the envelope so the servant could find the correct place to deliver the invitation. This is why there is an inner envelope and an outer envelope for invitations; so the invitation would not get wet. Once the invitation was delivered, the servant would take it out of the outer (dirty, wet, and written all over) envelope and hand the invited guest an envelope and invitation that looked magnificent. Instead of a Respond card, the servant had to wait for the person to read the invitation and reply. The servant then had to ride back to his employer with the response. Wouldn't that stink if you were the servant that rode 100's of miles through a hurricane to deliver the invitation and the person said "sorry, I have other plans". In the United States, printing invitations by printing press did not get popular until 1946. Tissue paper was used by the printers because it took a while for the ink to dry and the tissue protected the ink from smudging on the back of the next invitation being printed. Why is Tissue Paper still common use in 2009 - IT'S NOT. 2008 was the last year printers around the United States sent tissue paper with orders. You can still buy tissue paper for your invitation order, but it is an additional charge. Tissue paper is very thin and many customers complained they were shorted tissue paper. The invitation companies expense became outrageous because they had to pay "over-night delivery" of $50.00 for $1 worth of tissue paper. Use of envelope seals mimics the Hot Wax seals in the 1700's. Printing presses first started flat printing invitations, then the "High Society" paid extra to have engraved invitations using Engraving Plates. As demand increased, flat lettering went to raised lettering (Thermographs). Engraved invitations are very expensive, but still cheaper than having a calligrapher handwrite each invitation. Calligraphers are now hired to address the envelopes after the invitations are printed.


Ordering your invitations depends where you order your invitations. Most invitations that you order will arrive within 2 weeks. If you want photos on your invitations or proofs of the final product, you can expect your order will take one month to process. Mailing time in the United States takes up to eight days and up to three weeks overseas. Once the people you invite receive the invitation, they will need about 30 - 60 days to respond. Some employees have to give their employer up to a 90 day notice that they will need time off to attend your wedding. Allow for mailing time back to the person counting responses. The caterer usually needs a total head count of guests 7 - 14 days before your wedding. Calculate the time from your wedding date, so you will know the last possible day you have to order invitations. Usually 3 - 4 months in advance is normal, but some brides order as far as 9 months in advance.

1) The color of the paper used be the same color as the wedding dress.
2) Copy is interchangeable.
3) Choose your ink color.
4) Choose your lettering style.
5) You must put a return address on the back of the outer envelope.
6) Add 25 more invitations to your guest list count.
7) Carefully check names and dates before ordering.

The first thing you want to is choose paper color. If you are wearing a white or ivory wedding dress, you want to use the same color invitation. On ocassion, the bride wears a different color dress. If she cannot find a suitable invitation in the same color as her dress, then she has to settle for white or ivory. Next thing when choosing an invitation is to determine a theme; such as hearts, romance, sea shells, etc. Once you determine a theme, you want to be sure your invitation comes in the color you have chosen. It is very easy to find a similar color ink because invitation companies offer about 20 different color inks. Keep in mind that your ink will not match your bridesmaid's dress color, but you should be able to find a color that is close. Even the bridesmaid companies cannot match the same color of two dresses made at different times. It is called dye lot variations. If you want the invitation card in a certain color, that may be more difficult or impossible. For example, many card stocks offer red roses, but try to find an invitation with a yellow rose. Each invitation book carries about 100 examples, but usually the invitation comes in one color paper and you can not change the color of the card stock. You can only change the color of the changeable writing (ink) on the invitation. This is why going on-line and using the search feature on the company's web site is ideal. It narrows your search to a few minutes, compared to looking through 50 albums. The albums are very heavy, you are going to get tired after about 10 books, and it will take you a couple hours to look thoroughly. If you do not have a theme and you are just looking for a simple invitation, your choice will probably be made with the first book. At my store, I have the prices listed by page number in the front of the invitation album, so brides can turn to that page to see the lowest price invitation in that album. If you are having an informal garden wedding or a back yard wedding, price is usually more of an issue then the theme and color. The choice of invitation also depends on whom you are inviting. If you have prominent, high society people coming to your wedding, you would chose an elegant invitation over an invitation of drawn stick people. On the outer envelopes, invitations, reception cards, respond cards, direction cards, thank you cards, and informal cards; you will want the same paper style, ink color, and lettering whenever possible.


The correct wording is essential to your invitation. Most invitation companies give you about 20 examples in the front of the wedding albums to look at and determine which one you prefer. Brides do not realize is that the copy is interchangeable, you can use your own words. What are shown are only EXAMPLES of what you can say. The most difficult wording on the invitation concerns ways of placing family names on invitations.




Use Standard Format - Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (Do not spell out Mister)
Also, do not abbreviate anything else.





































Note: Miss is used when the people paying for the wedding are not relatives of the bride.



Note: Invitations to the marriage of a young divorcee or widow do not differ from those of a first marriage except the Bride's married name is used.














Some brides have put an extra line " In memory of ..." to remember loved ones that have passed.


Another consideration about the wording depends on the location where you are getting married. If you are getting married in a church, you may want to include an Inspirational verse. If you and your fiancé have a special quotation or a poem you would like in your invitation, be sure to choose a large enough invitation so all the wording will fit.

WORDING FOR WEDDING INVITATIONS
WEDDING INVITATION VERSES (SAMPLES)


















A church wedding is usually more formally worded than a garden wedding. The phrase "request the honor of your presence" is more formal wording and used in church weddings, rather than "the pleasure of your company" or "please join us as we celebrate the marriage of..." , "or request the honor of your presence". (Notice honor - formal, honor - informal).


You always list the brides name first on the invitation, then the groom's name. When the groom's parents are paying for the invitations, they want their son listed first. As you see from the last section, that is not the proper way to list the bride and groom on the invitation, but it has been done. The only time you would consider putting the groom's name first is if was changing HIS last name to HERS. Otherwise, the bride always comes first.


If you put first and last name for the bride, you want to only put first and last name for the groom. If you put first and middle name or first, middle, and last name for the bride, you want to put first, middle, and last name for the groom; unless you also list the groom's parents.


On Saturday, the tenth of June or On Saturday, June the tenth
The first date spelled out is formal, the second not is informal.
Two thousand and six or Two thousand six.
The year 2006. The proper way is two thousand and six, but I have a pet-peeve with that, although it is the way 95% of invitations are printed. Did we say nineteen hundred ninety nine or did we say nineteen hundred AND ninety nine.
I don't remember the AND in 1999 and invitations were not printed with the AND in 1999.


Be like Mr. Monk on TV, schedule your wedding to start on the hour, 4 o'clock, 6 o'clock, etc. Most brides select a time, then don't like the way it sounds when properly worded on the invitation if it does not start on the hour.
It is not proper to say "four thirty in the afternoon".
It is proper to say "half past four in the afternoon".
12:01 am - 11:59 am is in the morning
12:00 pm is noon
12:01 pm - 5:59 pm is in the afternoon
6:00pm - 11:59pm is in the evening
12:00 am is midnight

Even if you plan to start your wedding at 4:30pm, some brides still put 4 o'clock on their invitation because they know some of the guests will barrel in at 4:05pm, thinking they are late. When telling guests your wedding starts at 4pm, they don't realize it takes time to park the car, walk in and find a seat, and get relaxed. Many think they have to be there AT 4pm and calculate drive time to hit every light green to get there by 4pm. The other aspect brides don't realize is that brides are usually late because not enough time was given for the bride to get ready or there are wardrobe malfunctions. That is where the Bride's Emergency Kit comes in handy.


Name of church, park, gardens, hall, or Smith Residence.
Address where ceremony is being held.
City and State where Ceremony is being held. (Not Zip Code).


(Invitation companies never print this one because it is improper to place this on the invitation because it takes away from the invitation company's profit).
Reception immediate following ceremony. (This would go directly under City and State where Ceremony is being held).
If the Reception is not at the same place as the Ceremony and if you don't have enough room for the name and address where the Reception is being held, you may put a Corner Copy with the Reception information.
Reception immediately following
Cypress Creek Country Club
2000 Blue Lake Road
Blue Lake Springs, Florida

If you are doing a very informal wedding, you may also include the Respond information for guests to contact you on who will be coming to your wedding.

R.S.V.P. Pamela at 386-555-5555 or pamelaisgreat@aaa.com


Going back to the 1700's, all invitations come with two envelopes; the outer envelope you address, and the inner envelope the invitation and all paper items go into. The Inner envelope is always included in the price of the invitations. You will have to pay an additional charge if you want color lined envelopes. Although you may see about 20 colors of lined envelopes, but you may only have two or three colors of which to choose depending on the envelope size. There are three different sizes envelopes, but only certain colors are available for the different size envelopes. The inner envelope is non-stick and does not get glued shut. The outside envelope has the glue that you wet to seal the envelope. A decorative seal is available to apply after your envelope is sealed.


Seals are used by the bride to show friends and family that something special is going to happen, even before they open the envelope.There are two different styles of seals available; Personalized Seals and Preprinted Seals. Personalized seals have changeable writing, where preprinted seals are as you see them. Seals come in two colors; gold or silver. Seals only come in one style of lettering, so the lettering may not match the rest of your order. Seals come on easy-to-peel-off pressure sensitive paper clear material and can be applied in seconds. Seals can be personalized with the bride and groom's name, or used as a decoration that is significant to the bride and groom's wedding theme.


There should always be a return address on the back flap of the outer envelope. You must put a return address on the back flap of the envelope for many reasons:
1) If the U.S.P.S. cannot deliver the envelope, it will get returned.
2) Many people will not open an envelope without a return address.
3) It is proper on wedding invitations to place the return address goes on back of the envelope instead of on the front top left corner like regular mail.

Printed return address or self-adhesive stickers? Whether you have the invitation company print the back of the envelope or whether you buy self-adhesive stickers, only print two lines - address only; no names on the back flap. It is improper ettiquette to have names on the back flap of the invitation envelope.

Who's address should be printed on the envelope flap? It should always be the person hosting the wedding. If more than one person is hosting the wedding, I recommend using the address you would prefer your wedding gifts to be sent. Those who are unable to attend will usually send a gift to the address on the back flap of envelope.


Respond cards are used by people you invite to your wedding to inform you of whether or not they will be able to attend. They usually start with a phrase like:
"A favour of a reply is requested by May 20, 2006".
The next line: M_______________________
The M is for Mr., Mrs., Miss (and their name)
Although it is not traditional to use, many brides and grooms don't know what the "M_______" means, so they have been replacing it with "Name ____________".
Especially if your friends had problems at their wedding with the same guests and blank Resond cards being returned.
The next line is usually how many persons will attend or there is a choice of food or both. Be sure to say what type of food. Be sure that the food names explain what type of food. If beef is Filet Mignon, please indicate Filet Mignon. Beef could be anything from a cow. Chicken (fried, broiled, seasoned)?

How do you politely say you don't want children at the wedding.

1) Adult reception immediately following ceremony (on invitation).
2) Number of Adults _____ on Respond card.
3) Adult reception ... on the Reception card.
4) Tell your guests you have child care facilities arranged for the children during the Reception.
5) Word of mouth. Spread the word that you are not allowing children under the age of ____ attend your Reception.
6) Address the invitation inner envelopes writing only the adult's names when you mail them out. Do not put "& family" and do not list the children's names. See addressing envelopes at the end of this section.

Use extreme caution. Many parents will be offended if you tell them their children are not welcome. My children behave when they leave the house, but many children are complete terrors. Their parents never tell them NO and instead of a switch or other corrective measure, they just beg the child to be good. "If you are good, I will give you a cookie." These are the type of children NO ONE wants at their wedding, running around uncontrolled and unsupervised. Like the 7 year old who got tired of sitting in church, so he took his parent's car keys and drove off in their car, leaving them stranded at church. They said they will to have to keep a closer eye on him - REALLY.

Keep in mind, some of your guests may be traveling 100's or 1000's of miles with their children, so especially for them, make them aware about children at the reception.


It is traditional to put the host's name and address on the Respond envelope where the guests will be returning their responses whether or not they can attend your wedding. Because it is 2009 and times have changed, I recommend to use the name and address of the person who will be counting the responses. If the Bride and Groom are counting the responses, only use one name on the envelope. Some cultures still frown upon two unmarried people living together. Although they may have knowledge of the fact the two of you live together, they may still take it as an insult to their culture or beliefs.


Reception cards are used to describe the type of Reception you are having.
Cocktail hour, open bar, dinner and dance, adult only, etc. Many brides are opting not to use a Reception card because of the additional expense and their receptions are fairly simple. The Reception card also informs the guests where and when to be after the Ceremony. Some brides post the time as "immediately following the Ceremony", but because of delays by the photographer and some guests cannot attend the Ceremony, but can attend the Reception, a specific time is often given.


Direction cards are used when many guests are arriving from out of town and are unfamiliar with the area. They are also used if the Reception Site is far away from where the Ceremony took place. they are also used for places in rural areas or where addresses are difficult to find.


Programs are used in many cultures so guests not only know the bride and groom, but tells the schedule of events and who is in the wedding party.
On the outside it says Wedding Program and the bride and groom's name. On the inside, the program states the bride's and groom's names, along with the date, time and place of the ceremony. The schedule of events starts with the Prelude (music being played while guests are being seated). Name of song and Composer. Then it continues with all the events that will occur during the Ceremony, and ends with the Recessional. Then it lists "Our Wedding Party".
After the wedding party, the list ends with the Officiates. Many brides who are extremely pleased with how a vendor treated them and list them in the Program.
A Program will sometimes list a Loved One that Passed.


Thank you cards are used after the wedding to thank the guests for coming and thanking them for their gift. Be sure you have a pen and paper when you open your wedding gifts so you can thank each guest for what they brought.
After my wedding, I said "Thank you for the bath towels" on every Thank You card. Instead of a guest registry, my wife told everyone we needed towels. Eighteen years later, we still don't have to buy towels.


Photo Thank You cards are a great idea, but a little costly. All the guests that gave a gift receives your wedding photo and a Thank You for the gift, all in one. A draw-back to the Photo Thank You cards is it will take longer for your guests to receive a Thank You for you.

Ways to expedite getting your Photo Thank You cards mailed sooner.
Before the wedding, explain to the photographer that you will need so many pocket-sized copies of one wedding photo. This way the photographer can crop and touch-up your favorite photo and get copies to you right away. Then the photographer can take his time getting your other photographs ready as your prior arrangement. While the photographer is processing your wedding picture, you should take your list of guests and gifts and write Thank You's in the cards. If you had them preprinted, go to the next step of addressing the envelopes. Finally, apply the postage to your envelopes and leave them open. When the photographer delivers the photographs, insert them in your Thank You card and mail them.


Informal cards are used the same way as Thank You cards, but they will match your invitation stationary. The card can read the bride and groom's name after they are married, or a monogram, or Thank You; printed on the outside. On the inside, you can handwrite Thank You for the gifts to your guests. You can also pay an additional fee and get Thank You printed on the inside for a faster response to your guests for their gifts.


These Keepsakes are a wonderful way to thank your guests at the reception. Bookmarks can be placed by the Place Cards at the dinner setting or handed to each guest as they arrive for the reception. Your guests will be reminded of your special day long after your reception is over. Bookmarks have a tassel that comes in over 10 colors, usually on white or ivory paper, and includes a verse of your choice along with the bride and groom's name and wedding date.


You can dress up your invitation with a motif or design. They are usually placed at the very top or very bottom of the invitation card. When brides use a motif or design on an invitation, they usually have the same motif or design on all the papers being printed. The only draw back to using a motif or design is that it takes up some of the copy away (You may have to eliminate one or two lines of writing).
Most companies do not charge extra to add a motif or design, unless it is a SPECIAL design or motif that is not in their catalog of designs.


Self-adhesive peel and stick bows are available in about fifteen different styles and colors. Bows can be applied to the top on any invitation for that added touch. If you decide to use bows, be sure the invitation is worded correctly so the bows will not interfere with a design or writing on the invitation.

Translucent wraps are an optional item to further enhance your wedding ensemble. Translucent wraps are very limited in sizes and styles, but will fit most wedding invitations. Translucent wraps have a frosty clear look to them. If you decide to use translucent wraps, write down the dimensions available of the translucent wraps, then look for an invitation with those dimensions.

Ribbons are used to tie around the invitation for additional decoration. A sheer chiffon ribbon is usually used. Ribbons are available in about twelve colors. Assembly required. When you receive your invitations, you will have to wrap the translucent wrap yourself, if ordered, and wrap the ribbon around the envelope and tie the ribbon into a bow. The ribbon comes in a spool you will have to cut. Depending on the size of the invitation card, determines how long to cut your ribbon. The average length is 28" and you can cut about 32 ribbons on each spool. You may want to practice tieing a bow or ask a friend or family member to help when assembling the invitations.


Place cards inform guests as to the location you would like them to sit at the reception. Most style place cards do not match the invitations identically, but the companies offer so many varieties that you can choose one that is similar. Be sure the paper is the same color as the invitation and the ink color is the same color as the ink on the invitation. The place card lists the bride and groom's name, wedding date, guest's name, and table number. You will have to hand write the guest's name and which table you have assigned them to sit.


Save The Date cards are used when your wedding is at least four months away or longer and you want guests to be informed about your special day. Especially if you have guests require a 90 day notice to take off work, or your guests do much traveling; you don't want them to have other plans on your special day. Save The Date magnets are the best in my opinion. Your guest will receive the Save The Date and stick it right on the front of their refrigerator. Save The Date cards and Save The Date photo cards are also available from most invitation companies.


Napkins for your guests is a nice way for them to remember your wedding. Some guests take the napkins and place them in a photo album to remember your special day years after the event. Napkins come in two sizes; beverage and luncheon napkins. The Luncheon napkins are the largest and the beverage napkins are the smallest. Napkins come in about ten colors and offer the variety of ink colors as the invitations. Napkins are available with a choice of a deign or monogram, or pre-stamped. There are many monogram or design choices to choose from, but "prestamped napkins" only come as shown. All napkins have the bride and groom's first names and wedding date in the color ink chosen by the customer.


Other items the bride and groom purchase from the Invitation company with their names and wedding date on them are engraved glasses, printed ribbon, ink pens, matchbooks, note pads, cake knife and server, guest book, favor boxes, tote boxes, cake boxes, personalized coasters, Groom and Bride t shirts, aisle runner, champagne flutes, wedding bell favors, and many other items; depending on their budget.


Before submitting your order, please check your order carefully.

1) All your items ordered have the same style print and same ink color.
2) All papers match. Invitations, respond card, etc.
3) All names and dates are spelled correctly. Especially the proper church name.
4) All the addresses are correct.
5) You ordered an adequate amount of invitations. Take the number of guests you wish to invite and add 25 more. You may have forgotten someone, run into a friend after you order that you have not seen in awhile, or made mistakes addressing the invitations (you had someone's wrong address).

The invitations arrive from the printers and you receive this big box full of small boxes, what do you do? First thing is you open each small box and write on the box what is in it. You also check for misspellings or errors on your order. You also COUNT the amount in each box NOW. You don't call the company in 6 months and say "I just started assembling my invitations and you shorted me". Invitation paper could get discontinued, some people lie because they found more guests to invite or they messed up addressing the envelopes and don't want to buy extras, or the company could go out of business. There are many reasons to take a few extra minutes and count 1, 2, 3,.....100. You should have instructions in the box on how to assemble the invitations. If not, or if you threw the extra papers away that looked like advertisements, here it goes. Write the person or persons names you are inviting, on the Inner envelope. Inside the inner envelope, place the invitation first, then the Respond card tucked inside the the Respond envelope, the Directions card, the Reception card, and any other miscellanous printed small card that you printed for your guests. You place them all inside the smaller, non-sealable envelope (inner envelope). You address all the outer, sealable envelopes and put a return address if you did not have one printed by the invitation company. You put the inner envelope inside the outer envelope and either seal the envelope or use a seal you purchased. The unique custom made seals add an elegant touch to your invitation envelope. Sometimes people will return a Respond card without a name on the card and without a return address on the envelope. One strategy is to number your guest list and use to same number on the Respond cards using a pencil or invisible ink. When you put a number on the Respond card, be sure to put it on the back or inside the flap in very small print.


When you address your invitation envelope, be sure to write the names of who you are inviting. Most places tell you never put "& Guest" "& Family" on the outside of the envelope, only put them on the inside envelope. If you want to invite one person in the household, you address the envelope Mr. John Smith. If you don't mind is girlfriend coming to your wedding, you write Mr. John Smith & guest on the Inner envelope. If he is married, you address the envelope Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. If you do not mind him bringing his 10 kids, you write Mr. John Smith & Family. On the Inner envelope, you write everyone's name who is invited. Just like you may not have known the proper way to address an envelope, your respondents may not know either. It may only say Mr. John Smith on the envelope, but his Respond card may say 12 attending, because he does not know you are only inviting him. Write each name of who you are inviting on the inner envelope. Never write Mr. John W. Smith, always used the entire middle name or no middle name. One man's middle name was T the other day. In that case, you would write Mr. John T Smith. It is so difficult to write the T alone without trying to put a period after the T. (I had to, it was the end of the sentence). The examples used to properly write someone's name on an invitation is the same for addressing an envelope. On Inner envelopes, never list first names, except the children.
Other ways not listed above.
Unmarried female - (Outer) Miss Pamela Smith (Inner) Miss Smith
Unmarried male - (Outer) Mr. Michael Smith (Inner) Mr. Smith
Unmarried couples that live together - List alphabetical by last name.
Unmarried couples that don't live together - list both names on inner envelope, but address to whomever is your closest friend.
Married couples, woman kept maiden name - use two lines Mrs. Cheryl Jones,
Mr. John Smith
Same gender couples or roommates - List alphabetical by last name.
Children under 18 - Never address an invitation to anyone under 18. Write their names on the Inner envelope, if they are invited. Some people think its cute for a young person to have their own invitation.


(Outer) - The Honorable and Mrs. John Smith
(Inner) - Judge and Mrs. Smith

(Outer) - The Reverend John Smith
(Inner) - The Reverend Smith

(Outer) - Doctor John Smith
(Inner) - Doctor Smith

(Outer) - Dr. John Smith
(Inner) - Dr. Smith

(Outer) - Doctors John and Carol Smith
(Inner) - The Doctors Smith

(Outer) - Dr. Carol Smith Mr. John Smith
(Inner) - Dr. Smith Mr. Smith

(Outer) - Sergeant Carol Smith, U.S. Navy Mr. John Smith
(Inner) - Sergeant Smith Mr. Smith

(Outer) - General and Mrs. John Smith
(Inner) - General and Mrs. Smith